1) The cheaters themselves might not be cowardly scum (after all we’re more complicated to be simply categorized by taking the act out of context), but the act itself is almost certainly cowardly, dishonest and generally pretty shitty behaviour. I despise cheating in the almost entirety of cases. The only exceptions might be for revenge (he/she cheated on you first and you’re bitter about it), or if you find the terms of the relationship unbearable, provided however in both cases that you then leave your partner, period, no excuses. One or both of you have still committed a gross breach of trust and intimacy, a textbook betrayal, and there is no reason to continue being together, that’d be bullshitting each other and further shitting on the respect you may once have had, aside from the fact that it’s insulting, to say the least. And whether many people of people of quality do it is irrelevant. No one’s questioning the fact that we have needs, but being able to resist them is what we do or try to do. And if you can’t resist a primal need to stick your dick in someone else when you’re pledged to another, maybe you deserve neither.
2) I’ve heard people say that before, generally the most hypocritical ones. Those who condemn everything while actively doing it. I can understand why someone might cheat, and if provided the proper context I might even agree with them, but that doesn’t change the fact that you still did it, and there are consequences for that. I’ve heard every and all kind of excuses, believe me, and they are almost always laughable, dishonest or sexist, and even the excuses I do understand or outright condone/approve of don’t make the act itself look any better. It’s still cheating, it’s still betrayal, and it’s not something to be taken lightly.
3) No one’s questioning the fact that you have needs and that you get tempted. I’ve almost cheated on my (now ex) girlfriend too, I came really, really close, but I didn’t. I still left her, because I thought it would be the right thing to do (I could explain my mental process, but I’d rather not, it’s not something I’m very proud of). Thing is, yeah, even if it is indeed a mistake, it’s still some pretty bad shit. Now there are people who condone cheating and forgive their partners, and if that works for them, fair enough. I do however think that there cannot be the same level of trust there might have been before. I don’t think you can expect everyone to agree with your point for that exact reason: some people forgive a heinous act, some don’t, and for very good reasons. Just because it’s a mistake, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t suffer for it, or simply pay the consequences.
Original URL: https://www.loverslab.com/topic/112959-cheating-what-are-the-virtues-you-live-by/?do=findComment&comment=2506030